Being Able to Finally Pop My Back is Nice...

Reading Reflection

We're almost done with How Yoga Works, and we're continuing to learn more and more sutras! It really is interesting reading the sutras and seeing the reasoning and beliefs behind yoga and the things that could be helpful or harmful to your life and your practice of yoga. I've enjoyed How Yoga Works, too. It's a simple read, as others have said, but that's part of what makes it enjoyable for me, along with the fact that I haven't read many books like this. It's a bit of a different pace from other books I've been reading for BIC, my major and minor, and the other books I typically read in my free time. It makes me look forward to the other books for this class that I've yet to read, including the Bhagavad Gita, since I've only ever heard other people mention it before.
The new set of sutras (2:10-17) this time took me a little while to understand. The gist of it that I got was that good and bad karma exist, with the klesas being at the root of karma and causing karma to happen. Virtue causes good karma, and therefore causes pleasure in "type of birth, span of life, and life experience [of an individual]". Vice causes bad karma, and therefore causes pain. Basically, when you do bad things, your life and inner self are negatively affected, so you need to avoid causes yourself and others this unnecessary suffering, which is what Friday gets into during some of her conversations with the Captain. I don't necessarily believe in good and bad karma, but I can definitely see that your choices and actions have consequences, consequences that you have to live with whether they're good or bad, and that doing good can honestly help others or simply make you feel better about yourself.

Class Reflection

Class has been going really well! I really do like the mix of learning and practicing. I haven't had too difficult a time with the poses, though there's been a couple of days where I was a little sore afterwards, but it wasn't unbearable at all. Plus, like the title mentions, I'm finally able to pop my back and feel a little more limber and stretched than before. Before, my back felt a little too tightly strung so it wasn't comfortable to try popping my back. I'm getting better at some poses, too, I'm proud to say. With the blocks, the downward facing dogs are going a lot more smoothly.
Using the blocks and bolsters for some poses has proven really helpful, especially for my shorter arms. I also like that we're steadily working our way towards the harder poses without pushing it too much. I didn't do the headstand on Tuesday, but I do want to try it at least once during the semester. I'm a bit worried about some of the other more complex poses that we're going to get into, but I haven't minded anything else we've done too much, and at least we're gradually working our way into them. I like the amount of stretching and working out that I get from yoga. I get kind of sweaty and warmed up, but not to the point where I can't stand it. Yoga still succeeds in keeping me in a sort of focused blur as well. I'm almost never thinking about other classes or things I need to do while I'm moving from pose to pose.
Have to say, I'm glad I take my eye pillow home with me, with two or three others in the class already having there's ruined or taken, I guess by people that have other classes in that room. Well, guess who is going to be getting lots of bad seeds planted?

Outside of Class

In my other yoga class, our instructor told us one of the legends or tales behind the warrior poses, the story of Lord Shiva and his bride Sati. The story is meant to be symbolic and can be viewed as "Shiva representing the higher self doing battle with the arrogant ego (Daksha, Sati's father) in the name of love and the heart (Sati)."
I actually really enjoyed the mythical tie-in to the origins of the poses, since I really like mythology in general. Even if they're just stories, I think it would be fun to learn more about the origins of the poses (the actual stories and the mythical tales). It's part of the reason I'm kind of looking forward to the Bhagavad Gita.
It's been cool having the two yoga classes blend together. For the most part, I've been doing the same poses in both classes, with some differences. We did sun salutations last week, and this week we're working on hip rotation and bending, which involves the warrior poses, the triangle pose, lunges, and other ones similar to those. We just started the tree pose, and this yoga class has actually helped me prepare for it balance-wise, so I wasn't falling all over the place. My balance still needs work, though I tend to do better on more solid surfaces. Sometimes, after yoga, I'll be standing or leaning on something in my room, or the kitchen, or somewhere and I'll pick one of my feet up and put it on my leg or curl it around just because. I'll be done with both yoga classes after this semester, and I'll be graduating, too, but I do want to try to keep practicing yoga, if only for the fact that it does seem to make me feel better. 

Almost Forgot to Post This One...

Reading Reflection

"~Kriya-yoga, the path of action, consists of self-discipline, study, and dedication to the Lord.

~[The yoga of action] is for bringing about samadhi and for weakening the afflictions [to yoga].

~The impediments [to samadhi] are nescience, ego, desire, aversion, and clinging to life.

~Ignorance is the breeding ground of the other klesas, whether they are in a dormant, weak, intermittent, or fully activated state.

~Ignorance is the notion that takes the self, which is joyful, pure, and eternal, to be the nonself, which is painful, unclean, and temporary.

~Ego is [to consider] the nature of the seer and the nature of the instrumental power if seeing to be the same thing.

~Attachment stems from [experiences] of happiness.

~Aversion stems from [experiences] of pain.

~[The tendency of] clinging to life affects even the wise; it is an inherent tendency."

As we discussed in class, ignorance, ego, and all of the others each prove to have their own way of disrupting yoga thinking and the disciplined practice of it. I like how it states that ignorance is the "breeding ground" of the others, since ignorance, in my opinion, does cause a lot of bad things within people and throughout the world. If you continue to not see the truth or refuse to recognize it when it presents itself to you, you're inner self will be the one to suffer for it. I like that it considers this state of ignorant nonself to be temporary, however. It seems to hint that ignorance is luckily something that won't last as long as you're willing to rid yourself of it.

There are a lot of things in life that have to do with ignorance, ego, attachment, and aversion. It's very easy to get really attached to things and to want to desperately avoid other things. Sometimes you get too attached to the Internet, the TV, a friend, food, etc. Being around certain things or people make you really happy, and it's only human nature to want to be happy, but then problems develop when you start depending on that thing or person too much for your happiness, and then it negatively affects other parts of your life or hurts you when you're deprived of whatever you're clinging to. You're losing self-reliance, and forgetting to focus inward and simply find happiness in yourself. The same kind of goes for aversion, except you're running away from the things you find too painful or scary (physically, emotionally, mentally) instead of finding the inner courage to face it head on and become stronger and more securely focused inside.

I like what Josh said about clinging to life and ignoring everything and everybody else in your life in an attempt at self-preservation. I'm not sure there's much more I can add to that perspective other than I agree with what he said in his take on what it could also mean.

Overall, these are all very human tendencies, which is why they're so hard to fight and control. I definitely don't have complete control over any of them, especially attachment and aversion. They're all things that only you yourself can cause. It's during times like these when you really can be your own worst enemy. I've been hard working to fix them lately as I've noticed them. There have been times in the past where my attachments have ended up only hurting me and, in a sense, damaging my inner self that I work so hard to take care of and build up into something that I can love and respect, which is hard enough on its own. But I'll keep trying, and yoga is definitely helping me with that mindset.

Outside of Class

So far everything has been pretty much the same outside of class. There's been a week or two where I feel a little stiff and sore because this yoga class and the other one made me work harder than usual, and then there's been weeks where I feel pretty fantastic afterwards. I think sitting up straighter is starting to become more natural for me.

I didn't really much of a chance to do any yoga over the weekend since I had a project and had to study for an exam, but I stretched and did some of the simpler ones late Sunday morning, since I woke up late. I've been having some trouble lately going to sleep at a good time. I've had sleeping problems for a good while, and I have to actively try to keep a consistent schedule. I take meds for it but they don't always get the job done so that's when I have to resort to other tactics of getting some sleep. Lately it has reminded me of yoga, relaxing, and the sutras that talk about sleep. Sleep can be good or bad for you, and obviously I imagine that not getting enough sleep or sleeping restlessly isn't helping me at all, and it just makes me tired and unfocused during the day. Trying some simple yoga poses that help me relax and using the lavender-scented pillow at the end seem to help, though the important part is focusing on relaxing and not getting distracted by stray thoughts, or my laptop or phone, which is much easier said than done.

It's been interesting how much yoga has affected me in little ways over these past few weeks, like with with my posture, trying to relax from stress or lack of sleep, feeling a little more limber, and other things. I'm looking forward to seeing how this little bits of progress develop over the semester.

Titles Take Too Long to Think Up...

Reading Reflection

"~[The vrtti states of mind] are stilled by practice and dispassion.

~From these, practice is the effort to be fixed in concentrating the mind.

~Practice becomes firmly established when it has been cultivated uninterruptedly and with devotion over a prolonged period of time.

~Dispassion is the controlled consciousness of one who is without craving for sense objects, whether these are actually perceived, or described [in scripture].

~Higher than renunciation is indifference to the gunas [themselves]. This stems from perception of the purusa, soul."

Since going over the sections of sutras has been working really well so far in getting me to reflect on yoga and what it's trying to accomplish, I'll do it again this time. So, since we already know that yoga is intended to still these five changing states of mind, we now move on to learning how to go about stilling them through yoga.

One way, which is the most obvious one, is through practice. You have to become determined and devoted to practice yoga to receive its long-term benefits. Right now, I'm not practicing yoga as often as I probably should, but even then I'm starting to note some of the positive effects that yoga is starting to have on me. Like the sutra says, it's something to be "cultivated." Even if it's hard at first, you shouldn't give up, because you can only get better from there. There have been poses that have made me sweat and want to drop or kill someone (not exactly yoga-friendly thoughts going on during those kinds of brief moments...), but I've kept at it and felt better for it at the end. My worst problem that hinders continuous practice is my exceptional laziness when it comes to anything physical. Still have to work on that.

Dispassion is hit or miss for me depending on what the craving is. If we're talking about food or sweets, then I'm pretty good at controlling my desire unless I'm starving. I need to learn to control my desire for only unhealthy things when I get hungry, though. When it comes to things like my laptop, my phone, the internet, music, games, and other things like that, it's much harder to control myself, even when it's necessary for me to ignore them to get work done. I don't drink very often, or anything like it, unlike the Sergeant in How Yoga Works (I wonder if they'll delve into him trying to control his bad alcoholism). I like to think I'm actually pretty good at maintaining dispassion to most "sense objects", though I could be completely wrong, and I know I definitely have problems with simply focusing my thoughts when they're always all over the place, thinking about all kinds of things.

Outside of Class

As I mentioned above, I've noticed the beginnings of an actual physical effect from yoga. My back is starting to feel better than it did before (wasn't exactly taking good care it beforehand). It feels less stiff and more limber. Also, I'm able to pop my back now, something I was never able to do before! It might be considered a silly accomplishment, but I'm happy about it nonetheless.

Yay for life goals.

I think it has become kind of a mental thing for me, too. Since I'm starting to feel like and believe I'm becoming better at yoga, and just better physically, it's having double the effect on me. I know when you're working out it's important to believe you're becoming better and healthier alongside actually physically becoming healthier, since it'll have the psychological effect of motivating you to continue and making you more confident. Seeing and feeling the start of the positive effects is always a great feeling. I feel like that was part of Friday's message in How Yoga Works during one of her conversations with the Captain. How yoga helps has to do with the physical side of practicing it regularly, and then why yoga helps is a mental thing.

Also, people are jealous of my wonderful lavender eye pillow now. Just wanted to mention that. One person I showed it to almost fell asleep on my bed with it. I've used it a couple of times around bed time just to get it to help me relax.

I'm still working on sitting and standing straighter, since I'm just a habitual sloucher when I'm sitting in anything. My best friend came down to visit a few days ago, and she loves yoga and tries to keep it up every morning. We even did some poses together and compared what I've learned with what she has learned. She still despises downward-facing dog.

I still don't practice as often or for as long as I probably should since there have been days in a row where my classes are keeping me really busy, plus I'm lazy and get easily distracted. I've mostly stuck to some of the basic poses we've learned, such as the downward facing dog and several of the hamstring-centric poses (trying the tree pose is still proving difficult with my balance problems). 

And So It Continues...

Reading Reflection

There are five kinds of changing states of the mind, and they are either detrimental or nondetrimental [to the practice of yoga].
[The five vrttis are] right knowledge, error, imagination, sleep, and memory.
Right knowledge consists of sense perception, logic, and verbal testimony.
Error is false knowledge stemming from the incorrect apprehension [of something].
Imagination consists of the usage of words that are devoid of an actual object.
Deep sleep is that state of mind which is based on an absence [of any content].
Memory is the retention of [images of] sense objects that have been experienced.

These are the next seven sutras in the book of sutras. I decided to begin with this again since I enjoyed starting my last blog with a few sutras to delve into.
Continuing on form the first four sutras, these are the five changing states of mind that you are supposed to still while practicing yoga, and they're all things that everyone has to deal with on a daily basis, whether they help you in life or not. They're pretty self-explanatory, and you can see how each of them can be detrimental or not to you and to yoga. Sleep is something that you want enough of but not in excess, and in yoga, well...don't fall asleep. Yoga is not meant to put you to sleep. It's meant to help you de-stress, relax, focus, and seek your inner self.
Imagination, in my opinion, is a wonderful thing. Imagination is a place for dreams and aspirations to develop, and it's the creative spark behind so many books, movies, games, and more. However, there's having a good imagination, and then there's being deluded about yourself, others, and situations, and that's what you have to watch out for. Delusions are harmful distractions from reality and self-awareness.
Something else rather self-explanatory: Right knowledge is good, error is bad. Error is false and biased thoughts. It could be talking about when we think about things the wrong way or let our human bias and emotion sway our opinions or distract us from acknowledging the truth.
So far, I think I've been doing a pretty good job letting go of these distracting changing states of mind and simply focusing on yoga (but then again, ironically, maybe I'm being deluded...). Either way, yoga is meant to be a time where I focus inward and still these chaotic and constantly changing states of mind, so I intend to try my best to do so. Have to say, I'm rather proud of how relaxed and clear-minded I can be, or get close to being, during times such as the corpse pose, what with my ADD and all. My mind is almost always at a constant whirl. It's a work in progress.

Class Reflection

Class has been fun and successful at de-stressing me so far. I really do appreciate the small number of us and how we're all comfortable and cheerful around each other. The balance between talking about yoga and the readings and then actually practicing has been really nice as well. This could just be me and my preferences talking, but I find this yoga class much more enjoyable than the yoga class I have earlier. I'm not exactly sure why. It could be that I have to rush to the earlier yoga class since it's right after my psych class in the BSB, and that it's much larger in number, and nobody talks with anybody. I just like the atmosphere of this yoga class more. I can't get into the other one, even though the instructor is a very nice lady. It's probably just my preference for smaller numbers of people, and friendlier, more familiar surroundings.
Oh well.
The poses are having pretty much the same effect on me, leaving me a little wobbly and stiff and in need of a shower, but I'll still feel satisfied at the end of it. I don't really mind the downward-facing dog as much as I used to. The worst time I've had is doing the plank and other similar poses, in both this yoga class and the other one. I think I'm a little more limber when it comes to poses that involve bending over than I originally gave myself credit for. Those eye pillows are wonderful, definitely the best thing so far about the yoga class. But, hey, that's just me. I've secretly been calling dibs on the purple ones every time. Also, I think my yoga mat is finally getting a little less slippery than it kind of started out as.

Outside of Class

Like before, I've had to get mini-projects and other things out of the way in my other classes, so I still haven't much time to try yoga outside of class.
I'm still working on sitting and standing a little straighter, even though my back is determined to be lazy and resist the whole way.
However, I was able to give some of the poses a try over the Labor Day weekend. I did a lot of the basic ones, like the downward facing dog, the mountain pose, the tree pose (I'm still just as clumsy on one foot as I ever was, unfortunately, even when I tried rooting my foot to the ground), and other poses that I can't quite remember the names of but remembered how to do them. I also did the warrior pose (hopefully that's what it was called).
I even told my family about yoga, since they were really interested in seeing if liked it. My grandmother even told me she wishes there had been places for her to do yoga back then, since all she did was go work out for a while. She suffers now from crippling back problems that leave her unable to walk or stand for lengthy periods of time (can't remember the exact name of it), and she wonders if yoga might have been able to help her even a little if she had tried it before she got to this point. It just wasn't something everybody knew about back then. My dad has started having similar problems, though he's a lot more stubborn about it and tries to carry on like normal. Seeing things like this happen to people tends to make me a little melancholy.
I do have to wonder what yoga could have done for them if they had tried it and kept it up long ago. I wonder what fun things they would try to do now if physical limitations didn't get in the way. I'm glad I get to try yoga now and see how it works for me, along with other things. I don't know how many regrets my grandmother (and maybe even my father) has at this point in life, if any, hidden away amongst all the wonderful good times they've had, but I don't want to have any regrets. There are a lot of things I want to try and do before I get too old to do them, and I want to be able to do them without anything holding me back, physically or otherwise.